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having a fuckin time with trying to introduce myself in new servers because i still dont have any kind of name i feel comfortable with
i try to put down a name i think i like enough to share and immediately the comfort of it disappears

i dont even know if i should be venting

everything im doing is making my identity feel compromised

note: originally posted this in a discord server at 3pm. now redacted because i wanted... more privacy i guess and thought itd feel better to post it here

- dt (hopefully)

Current Mood: and frustrated
Current Location: my bedroom (i should get up)
Current Music: exile vilify - matthew koch

youjustmissedhim

But hey me from 3 (three( sundays ago (jesus fuck),

12/28
- had a bun before leaving to make sure i had something in me other than pills and water

- got picked up at 12pm
- went to the park. had good conversation on the drive there and at the park. sat on the bench in on a mini island in the lake. ~~saw~~ heard coots (not ducks) quacking. awesome lil guys.
- went to a supermarket so he could buy some ingredients for a dish he was going to make for us. i covered for the cost of the ingredients in appreciation (he actually suggested showing me how to help prep it so i could get some cooking experience in but he ended up making it all himself. i was too dead)
- had (most of) the food
- passed out in his living room for like 2 hours probably
- told him i wanted to try out a new name while on the drive back and he called me it when we got to the house and it... i mean in the moment it felt good. not sure how to feel about it now but worth saying trying a new name still felt good
- got home at like 7/8pm

dont remember what else happened that day

ended up having a good day

-----

note: thought i lost this draft to the buggy autosave void but i guess not. dont know when i started writing it so keep that in mind when you read it in the future. need to write entries tor like multiple other days since that sunday. (oh man)

-----

update (6:36pm): other draft of the entry for this day below

hey me from sunday,

jesus christ i cant believe its taken this long to make this entry shit just keep coming up like i dont even know which number attempt this is but WHATEVER so long as i get something written down before the memory void can eat all of it

unlike last time i got into his car without any hold up

last time when we ended up having to cancel the hangout because i didnt know he was already at the house and ended up waiting 20 minutes for me which put him in a bad mood

it made me feel really bad but i actually brought it up while we were out cuz we were talking about boundaries in relationships (in general) and i told him i appreciated him being so upfront about his frustration last time

ugh my head hurts

---

okay so typing on a physical keyboard is more grounding and also faster maybe i should just jot down stuff again

---

- asked him to call me a new name towards the end of the drive back...

Current Mood: blank
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Music: i need control - will jay

kossai

would love to work more on faerie glamour archives , but did reach point of scrape most of interesting stuff off glamourbomb-specific communities already . only way to make more complete would be to get everything , and lots of that end up ... um , irrelevant - there was so much cutesy glitterbomb and random acts of kindness to sort through . nice things also , but not in spirit that actually aim to highlight .

with nothing else to really pick up , that put work on kossai to make up and find more ideas . specifically , would like to think of things that could be :

accessible hopefully regardless of age , solo and group options , etc
still possible / relatively easy to pull off , keep good balance of lower-level crafts and activities
not provide instruction for illegal activities for safety reasons ( though some already-archived may cross this line ... )
not just repeat what others already come up with , but in slightly different format

and ... well ... world is just so much more surveilled and restricted than 20 years ago . this is part of why include section for dress , which in self include things like " therian gear " . dress alone is not glamourbomb - and in addition to practical reasons , sometimes plain clothes enhance strangeness of activities - but that is one obvious way to influence perceptions and potentially get onlookers to wonder , in combination with more active glamourbomb .

but all of that just make ideas ... well , hard . feel like most of work kossai can do on that site at this point is just , site stuff .

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: forest echoes ~ robert kanaan

bedes

Challenge #5

In your own space, create a list of at least three things you'd love to receive, a wishlist of sorts.

I'm sooo happy to see a version of this challenge back! I loved fulfilling people's wishlists last year~ As for myself, I have a couple! (Don't mind the soft-recycling of my holiday_wishes list...)

1. Help me move! I'm currently saving up to move out of my parents' home! They forbid me from going on HRT, so I'm trying to move ASAP. Plus, I live in a red state with lots of anti-trans legislation.

My Paypal.me is here, and my Ko-fi is here!

2. Comments on my fics! I am AzureMist on AO3, and some fandoms I've written for include Dungeon Meshi, MILGRAM, Splatoon, and Pokémon, among other things! If you're familiar with any of the fandoms I've written for, from 2021 onward, I'd really, really appreciate it if you could spare some kind words!

3. Digital giftcards! Specifically Nintendo eShop, Steam, Pokémon Center and DoorDash gift cards! I have a long gaming-related wishlist, so if you could help make even a dent in that, it would be very appreciated. The Pokémon Center is the official Pokémon merch store, and Pokémon is my one true fandom, so it makes sense why I would love some items from there (especially Pokémon plushies, as I collect them)! And lastly, DoorDash cards will be used for yummy treats~

4. Support for my art accounts! A share, a kind comment, or maybe even a follow for any of my art accounts would warm my heart!! It's brutal out here for us artists online in this day and age... I am primarily active on Tumblr and Bluesky!

5. Paid time on Tumblr and Dreamwidth! I'm azuremist on Tumblr! Tumblr is my main online platform of choice, so I'd get a ton of usage out of it, and I'd love to get more icons on Dreamwidth!

6. Spare my beloved's site some kind words! This one's a secret, okay? Don't mention that I sent you! But my long-suffering husband has a simple website! It contains things like some of his art, and a work-in-progress guide to shiny hunting. Pup often gets discouraged with pups site, and hasn't updated it in a while because of it. So, please consider looking around, then signing the guestbook at the bottom of the homepage with some kind words!

7. Steam games! Steam gift cards too much of a hassle? I understand. (What kinda digital store doesn't let you send an e-gift card by email? In 2026??) Then maybe consider gifting me a game more directly with Humble Bundle! I have a lot of visual novels on my wishlist; specifics include Canvas Menagerie, Love Curse: Find Your Soulmate, Afterlove EP, Necrobarista, Heart of the Woods, and Letters From a Rainy Day -Oceans and Lace-.

8. Consider joining and posting to my Dungeon Meshi comm if you're a fan?

dunmeshi I try to keep the community active by doing reoccuring posts, but I don't think anybody else has ever posted to it except in the comments. Rec something (including self-recs), post your meta, art, anything at all!

My email is azures.mist@protonmail.com, and my Steam account is azuremists! Much love~

( Bonus: Wishes I've granted )

Current Mood: grateful

pheonix_system

Seeing this post by

bodyetal , we thought it would be nice to write an obituary for Amara's wolf. We missed the deadline, and aren't sure we're comfortable with this obituary being included in something that would be for sale, so we're writing it here.

---

One of Amara's wolves, whose name is unknown to all but the rest of the pack and Amara, was killed on August 1, 2025.
He is survived by the rest of his pack and Amara.
He was young and had just recently matured and become one of the protectors in the pack. He was killed defending Amara from the Beasts in the innerworld attack at [redacted].
He was buried on the moor, a sacred place for the wolves, and a small stone cairn was built to mark where he lies.

pheonix_system

Oh boy. I'm not even sure where to begin. So much has has happened since we last posted. I guess chronologically is the best method?

Quick warning for medical, disordered eating, and traumatic innerworld event discussions.

( Read more... )

Additionally, throughout this entire time, we've continued to gain more members at a fairly steady rate.

Hopefully 2026 is kinder to us.

Edit: I hate how complicated it is to utilize cuts

solarbird

PROTESTS. SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. LOTS OF THEM. SHOW UP.

Here’s a bunch on the Washington State wet side. All over the place, and I do mean all over. Like Tulalip, and Sequim. Don’t get me wrong, I like Sequim, but it is not a big place. Here’s the list. All kinds of times, all kinds of places.

Sundays are further down but this list isn’t in good date order, idk why. So keep scrolling.

I’m sure wherever you are has some too. Pick one and get out there.

Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.

citrakayah

Watch on YouTube

Ran across this recently and thought people here might find it interesting. I've been watching a lot of "sealed biosphere" videos on YouTube, recently, where someone takes pond water or dirt and plants and puts them into a terrarium, then never opens the jar. It's kind of interesting to see how species like ostrocods or springtails handle living in isolation.

This is probably the biggest and most complicated set-up I've seen, though. I've got a bit of mixed feelings regarding having a fish or a hermit crab in there... but also he's apparently still going to remove or add species as needed, and they've apparently done well so far.

He's got a website set up about the project, and apparently one day it'll have details about the set-up and live cameras for watching the environments.

solarbird

JD Vance said – in response to a reporter asking why the FBI and Federal agencies were blocking Minnesota’s investigation into the ICE agent murder of Renee Nicole Good – that ICE agents have “absolute immunity” from state laws.

Screen photograph of JD Vance at the White House podium on CNN with the chyron "BREAKING NEWS | LIVE: VANCE: ICE AGENT WHO KILLED RENEE GOOD 'PROTECTED BY ABSOLUTE IMMUNITY'"

This is not law. This is fascism.

Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.

nova_dergs

Happy to 2026 y'all!

We've finally finished moving over our personal website (we focused on Alterhuman Zines first) to nekoweb from weebly!

Weebly was supposed to be sunsetted this past July and, though it didn't happen at the last minute, we feel safer moving to some place more stable.

Our old website is going to be left up (so no links to it will be broken!) but now there's a huge message on the homepage about our new site and a link to it in the nav bar.

The sites look almost identical.

We originally wanted to start with a fresh, obviously different, template, but we started missing the old design so much we changed our mind.

:,D And when we say "finished moving" we mean we added everything currently on the weebly site to the nekoweb one (don't look at the art page…we just realized we missed that one OTL) …we still have like 6 months on new content we never added (since we knew we planned to move). Oh well, one step at a time!

At least we won't have to worry about rescuing our writing from weebly anymore!

This is our new link: https://nova-dergs.nekoweb.org/

We decided to go with Nekoweb over Neocities because the premium tier is cheaper for more and cats are cool. We don't regret the decision at all! We love their interface a lot more, it's so easy to change between multiple pages when we're editing! Not to mention the Nekowebs discord offers a super cute server tag. If you've been thinking about checking them out, we recommend it!

On the agenda to add:

The art page you're not supposed to know we forgot
Isla's headmate intro page
Our essays from here
Website buttons. We want to add all the alterhuman website buttons.

Current Music: Calm Waters by Purrple Cat

lb_lee

Rogan: okay guys, I am throwing in the towel on this one, but there is a

pluralstories read of historical importance that I just cannot get through: Peter Ibbetson, by Gabriel du Maurier. If one of YOU want to take a crack at it, it’s long in the public domain; have at it! https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/9817

Looking at that summary, you might be wondering why this fiction book you’ve never heard of from 1891 is of research interest to me. Well, like His Dark Materials inspired daemonism, and Steven Universe popularized gem-style fusions, Peter Ibbetson inspired at least TWO completely separate and unrelated people to use its techniques for “dreaming true.” Ida Craddock (the woman harassed to death for marrying an angel in 1902) loved this book and references it specifically in her diaries, and Celia Green in the 1960s mentions a lucid dreamer using the same technique successfully, which is in turn cited by Benjamin Walker in 1974.

Needless to say, it’s shockingly rare to see something like this mentioned from this early period. I REALLY want to read this book! I just... can’t get through it. So now I'm telling y’all about it.

Current Mood: apathetic

xxqueer_leviathanxx

Yeah, been though a lot since the last post. Quite literally a whole semester and then some as past next week is my second year in junior collage. Still got no god damn idea what I want to do still with my life. Though I did but it too far for me to reach right now maybe later in life.

I'm back to art and the world is burn so, yippe...

Just hope this year will be better. I'm now as of today 22 years old.

Current Mood: okay

bedes

Challenge #4: Rec The Contents Of Your Last Page

Any website that you like, be it fanfiction, art, social media, or something a bit more eccentric!

The last website that I was on was TheFanlistings.org! You might recognize it, as it's been around since 2000 as a directory of approved fanlistings.

What's a fanlisting? In the words of the site itself: "A fanlisting is simply an online listing of fans of a subject, such as a TV show, actor, or musician, that is created by an individual and open for fans from around the world to join. There are no costs, and the only requirements to join a fanlisting are your name and country. TheFanlistings.org is the original (but not only) web directory for fanlistings, dedicated to uniting fans across the globe."

Basically, it's an old-fashioned way to connect with other fans of a subject, by listing all fans who sign up in the same place for easy searching! They were popular in the early internet, when social media wasn't as prominent, so fellow fans were harder to find. They're making a comeback, thanks to the revival of the indie web, though!

If you want to join some fanlistings, I recommend browsing the approved fanlistings of TheFanlistings.org (as previously mentioned), and their partner site, AnimeFanlistings.com. You can put your Dreamwidth journal in the "website" space, so other fans can find your journal!

If you want to look through some fanlisting collectives (which is a website where somebody hosts their fanlistings), I recommend browsing through EPHEMERAL, which is a directory for exactly that! I have a fanlisting collective myself, as well. It's very small for now, and I aim to keep it that way.

I really like fanlistings, because it means that I don't have to put my stake in search engines and unreliable algorithms to find other fans. Plus, it doesn't have any requirements that you sign up to anything, unlike social media! You can find any fan across the whole, wide internet.

Current Mood: excited

bedes

The first appearance of The Fount of Knowledge, who wears long religious robes

The second appearance of The Fount of Knowledge, who wears a skin-tight bodysuit

So, Shadow Milk Cookie's corruption involved ripping off his flowing, religious-coded robes, revealing a skintight bodysuit underneath. A skintight bodysuit that, mind you, he looks much happier in.

I’m stuck between wanting to commentate on the inherent queercoded nature of this, and just wanting to call him the word.

( NSFW joke under the cut... continue? )

bedes

Do you ever see a piece of fiction that you wish you had gotten into as a kid? Like, you love it Now, but you wish you had the experience of enjoying it as a child, too? Although I often wish I could experience pieces of fiction for the first time again, too, so I suppose the grass is always greener.

I guess what I’m saying is that, in a universe slightly to the left from ours, a tweenage Azure became SICKENINGLY obsessed with Riku Kingdomhearts. Just an absolute BLOODBATH. Because if I have one thing in common with my tween self, it's undoubtedly that we both love mean queercoded characters who experience SHAME 🔥🔥💥💥💥🍾🎉🔥💥💥💥🎉

Current Mood: reminiscing

bedes

Challenge #3

Write a love letter to fandom. It might be to fandom in general, to a particular fandom, favourite character, anything at all.

I hate to use the exact same fandom twice in a row, when I am a multifandom girlie at heart, but I feel like this couldn't be for any other fandom but Pokemon. You'll understand why thanks to the contents of the letter itself.

Dear Pokemon,

( Letter under the cut... continue? )

Current Mood: loving

kossai

shezap is toxic waste clone of shezow , specifically , guy hamdon incarnation of shezow . shezap often refer to self as shezow's dark side - which is fun stuff to play with - and in contrast to shezow's pink and white , dress in green and black . except ... no one notice this ? no one but shezow and shezap , who respectively comment looks kinda goth and yuck , pink about each other's outfits . everyone else just seem to see shezap as shezow exactly , as shezap can perfectly stand in for shezow , in both super form and civilian form .

so ... fun little theory , maybe this is not just cartoon logic at work . maybe only shezap and shezow can perceive truth of physical differences and shezap's real appearance as such , but everyone else just see ... shezow , but slightly off . people might comment that hair look slightly different , complexion look more sickly , but unless already know what to look for , will not see anything that stand out . easy enough to assume that maybe just catch shezow on bad day - not enough sleep , catch some kind of bug , whatever .

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: brian boru ~ taezi

solarbird

ICE shot a woman, believed but not confirmed to be an American and confirmed not to be a target of their raids, to death in the streets today, murdering her. They are lying about it, calling her a terrorist and lying about what happened. Tricia McLaughlin in particular is lying about what happened. ICE and Tricia McLaughlin have lied many times, irrefutably, in the past, about ICE violence; this is yet another time.

There is third-party video. I have reviewed it several times. It matches reported eyewitness descriptions taken at the scene. In it, the ICE agent shoots while fully clear of any vehicle – having in fact stepped back from the vehicle to make room to raise his pistol – as the vehicle is moving away from him. Eyewitnesses say he shot directly into the vehicle, from the side, at a near-right-angle (at first), which matches what can be seen in the video itself.

Here’s one posting. If necessary, I have a copy and can make more copies if needed. I think these’ll be disappeared if we don’t put them enough places.

The fash are building a lie, a “false narrative.” That’s just extra syllables for “lie,” one that they’ll all pretend to believe. Debunk it at every turn.

ICE murdered a woman in the streets today for funsies and because they were mad about it, and now they’re lying about what they did, while this woman is indeed quite dead.

ETA: The original video has been moved behind moderation and is no longer visible without a Bluesky account. This is a different video from a different angle, unfortunately lacking earlier context.

Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.

dinogrrl

( Chapter 17: Two Steps Forward... (In which Perceptor and Ratchet have made a grave miscalculation, and so has Starscream. Pay attention, class, this'll be on your next Cybertronian Race Issues and Ethics 101 exam.) )

synecdoches

A friend sent a haiku about time. I replied with this:

isolation, cold
fear and what comes after fear
dissociated

I kinda stumbled onto it by accident, but the line "fear and what comes after fear" is sticking in my mind. There are many things that can come after fear, but in context, "fear and what comes after" evokes a very specific kind of exhaustion. Maybe I know it from experience.

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who-is-page

Three Dragons and a Dog

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Page Summary

youjustmissedhim - ow right in the identity
youjustmissedhim - coots are cute
kossai - TFGA ~ thoughts
bedes - Snowflake Challenge 2026 #5
pheonix_system - Obituary Post
pheonix_system - System Update
solarbird - Weekend protests – SHOW UP
citrakayah - Biosphere 4: This time, a guy built it in his garage.
solarbird - Vance: ICE agents have “absolute immunity” from state laws – including murder
nova_dergs - New Website
lb_lee - Peter Ibbetson, by du Maurier
xxqueer_leviathanxx - I'm still alive and kicking ( Life has been alot)
bedes - Snowflake Challenge 2026 #4
bedes - Fount of Knowledge Leaks
bedes - (The Emoji Spam Is for Comical Effect)
bedes - Snowflake Challenge 2026 #3
kossai - shezow ~ random little theory
solarbird - ICE murdered a woman in the streets today. You need to know, and you need to tell others.
dinogrrl - Living With Autobots
synecdoches - haiku

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Liminal Fur & Divine Scales

The writings of a pagan, queer, nonhuman collective

Reading

ow right in the identity

coots are cute

TFGA ~ thoughts

Snowflake Challenge 2026 #5

Obituary Post

System Update

Weekend protests – SHOW UP

Biosphere 4: This time, a guy built it in his garage.

Vance: ICE agents have “absolute immunity” from state laws – including murder

New Website

Peter Ibbetson, by du Maurier

I'm still alive and kicking ( Life has been alot)

Snowflake Challenge 2026 #4

Fount of Knowledge Leaks

(The Emoji Spam Is for Comical Effect)

Snowflake Challenge 2026 #3

shezow ~ random little theory

ICE murdered a woman in the streets today. You need to know, and you need to tell others.

Living With Autobots

haiku

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